10 tips to bring up your child

I read this post someone shared on facebook. This is a really enlightening read. Parents out there please take note. In Syaa Allah we will raise our children the right way.

10 tips from a Child Psychiatrist

1. Let children play with Sand, Bubbles, Grass and Plasticine.
This is to ignite their motor and sensory skills.

2. Don't expose children to any gadgets
Keep any interaction with the tv/ipad/etc to a maximum of 10 minutes. Never leave the child alone with any gadget.

3. Stimulate their imitation Skills
I didn't know that this skill is important. So when my husband is horsing around with the lil baby mimicking him is actually a good thing.

4. Let them play with concept toys instead of figurines
I did notice my lil baby have more fun with toys that he can interact with. He never likes any of the stuff animals or teddy bears at home.

5.Teach the baby using words instead of sentences.
This I have to remind myself to do. I did however notice that he is able to concentrate when we interact him using one word with emphasis on the tone.

6. Teach children to high five if they are afraid of strangers.
This is really interesting. Read the explanation from the link.

7. Explain and rationalize with the child when he does something wrong.
Explain to the child and scolding him. Make sure you are at eye level with the child.

8. Overly attached to one person is not a good sign.
I did notice the lil baby getting too attached with me the week his grandmother went to Singapore. Also I had used that week to try and sleep train him. However the method did not work. He became clingy and still wasn't sleeping throughout the night. He was also crying a lot.

We tried something different the next week. I would pump and feed him through the bottle. Let other people feed him as well. Also to not let him cry. Everytime he was about to cry, I would smile and laugh at him and pick him up. He became much more confident and happier.

9. Let him explore and play according to his interest
Lil Baby is at the stage where he is exploring his surroundings. I'm not the type of mother who buys him a lot of toys. I don't believe in buying too many toys. Just a few good ones. He is at the stage where every single thing is exciting. Even the senduk from the kitchen. So basically now someone just follows him around the house to ensure his safety and let him explore.

10. When you ask a question to your child, give him a few options as answers.
This is to enhance their communication skills. When he gets upset, you might ask "Why are you crying?"
Answer the question with a few options as your child isn't able to speak yet. In time he will be able to give you a signal and answer your question.

You have to Learn the Art of being a Parent

No one is born with an innate sense to know every baby or child's needs. Not knowing first hand does not make you to be a bad parent. However, deliberately being ignorant for not learning the right or wrong way to be a parent is unforgiving. Especially in this age of technology where every piece of knowledge and information is right at your fingertips.

I have been appalled at numerous occasions of what some parents constitutes as ok.

Story 1

The father is trying to stop smoking and is using vapour ciggs at home. Both parents are constantly on their gadgets while the son is left to play on his own. Buying toys at toys r us is considered 'luxurious' so instead they gave him a non working vapour cigg as a toy. What is so wrong with the picture is that his own grandmother thinks that it is good that the grandson learns what the vapour cigg is.

This scene is so wrong and appalling at so many levels. Parents do not spend time with the child. Family values are twisted. Parents are selfish and do not invest anything into their greatest asset, which is their own son. Giving their son a cigg to play with is so horrifying to the extend that if you call child services to report on it they would probably take the child away. Parents are unfit to take care of child'd needs.

Just writing this down makes me so so angry. How ignorant can you be to your own child??? (Screams at parents!!!!!)

Every parent has to educate themselves. You can't just have a child and let them grow on their own. They need love and care and constant attention from you.

What can you do when you become a parent?
1. Buy parenting books. Read and educate yourself. BBW is just around the corner. No reason to not buy good books at value prices.

2. Attend parenting conferences or workshops. Sometimes baby fairs have free workshops for parents to attend. Join in and learn something from it.

3. Join a group. There are many support groups out there. There is also a group for fathers to meet other fathers. I think this takes place at the Shah Alam library every fortnight.

Give yourself a chance to be a good parent. Having a child be dependent on you is a good thing. There is no other feeling like that in the world.

Breastfeeding and Being Supermom

Two night ago, I woke up to the lil baby crying again, for the second time that night, demanding to be fed. There was a light coming from the tab and in turns out that my husband was awake and reading the news. Fed the baby and went back to sleep. That night the baby woke up again one more time. The next morning my hubby commented that now he truly understands what I have to go through after seeing me waking up several times last night.

I know what everyone is thinking. After seven months did he only realise what I have been going through???? Hello???? I'm just so knackered out in the morning to even put on proper make-up to work.

I swear men can be so ignorant.

I love the lil baby so so much but I tell ya breastfeeding is such a chore. I thought the lil baby will start sleeping throughout the night once he started eating food but nnnoo......he still wakes up at least 3 times at night. I'm so tired for not getting enough sleep.

When my supply gets low I just start stressing out. Then I will have to pump after feeding the baby (it's not a smooth ride, can be painful) then the packing and washing and boom. 30 minutes pass.

I'm just able to muster just enough energy to cook the baby's meals.

What I'm trying to say is for husbands to please be considerate to your wife. It is not easy breastfeeding full time. Sometimes, doing the chores and cooking dinner once a while feels really nice.

The Blame Game

Each person is responsible for their own path. It is all within our own reach to change the situation to work for you instead of assigning blame. Simple Logic, don't you think.

You cannot change the current situation when you have made a decisive decision. It is not fair to yourself and others around you to complain and blame on the rut that you are in. It is even more ridiculous to blame the rut for your unproductive behaviour. It just doesn't make any sense.

Say you blame it on your rut. You don't progress anywhere at all. You will be complaining and playing the blame game your whole life. Until when will this continue?? You will never ever get out of your rut. You will never change your current situation. You will never instil trust in anyone because you have not proven anything. You did not show any progress, you did not show that you are reliable and capable. You need to change. You need to change your whole outlook on life.

Here are a few guidelines that I follow.

1. Always Look Your Best.
Appearance is so so important anywhere you go. May it be for work, or even for an outing with your friends and family. Being well groomed at work shows that you take yourself seriously. People WILL JUDGE you for how you dress no matter how well you perform at work. You do not have to be stylish. Just simple things like a well ironed shirt/blouse and pants. Wear proper shoes and comb your hair. If you are going out with family, it is very important to dress well for your partner. You reflect the image of your family. Also added bonus if your partner receives compliments on how fit you look.

2. Go Beyond the Expectation
Anticipate the expectation of the norm and go beyond that. People will remember those who went the extra mile. Therefore, be organize, finish work well in advance and always do something extra.

3. See Every Situation (bad/good) as a Challenge and an Opportunity to do Better
Every situation that you come across either bad or good is an opportunity. There has to be an incentive at the end. Even if you don't see it, you have to create it. Only when you have a goal will you pursue to do better.

4. Be Consistent and Make it a Habit
Procrastination is a horrible horrible disease which you have to kill. In order to that you need to create a routine and make it a habit. Above all, be consistent.

5. Have faith in Yourself and Allah
This is something I tell my husband. Don't put your faith on people. Always put faith in yourself and Allah. Only he is able to change someone's heart or mind.

6.Cultivate Good Akhlak
Be nice to people around you. Always be helpful and kind. If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything. I believe as we get older, we speak less. We also only speak when necessary. To be kind or to educate someone nicely. Sometimes I really don't like to be around people who just want to say something just to say it and be mean. It is not fruitful at all.

So stop playing the blame game and take action instead. In Syaa Allah, Allah will guide us to the right path.

Turning 26

I turn 26 today. Alhamdulillah another year has past and I'm a year wiser. So much things have changed and ultimately more to be grateful for. Thank you Allah for giving me a loving family. Someone asked me how does it feel to finally turn 26. I don't feel any older or younger. I think I like this age now. I'm not in denial that I'm getting older and I feel that I have loads to accomplish and the energy to do so.

Also, I'm grateful with all the rezki that have been blessed on me. Getting married, buying a house, a wonderful family, a stable job and my biggest asset; having a baby. I have more reason to work harder. Finding success in this duniya and more so for the hereafter.

This year, I'm starting my search to find closeness to Allah.  There are trials and obstacles that have been set for me. I have faith that there is always a reason. Allah knows that I can't be knock down that easily.

My ultimate dream is to be able to provide the means for people to be closer to Allah. To give and give as much and have more to give. In Syaa Allah.

My Dream Home

We found our dream home in someone else's house. Well, actually I found it when I send my younger sister off for her 1 month holiday camp at Mahad Lil Aytam. The owner has such a beautiful place and it is really a place that promotes eco living. It practices sustainable living and the design of the house wards of the humidity of the Malaysian climate and keeps the cool air in. What an inspiration I tell ya.

The amazing thing about this place is that it is a school for girls who want to learn more about Quran and they have a variety of activities that teaches them to practice sustainable living. The girls are taught social and life skills and above all to be independent. Who says Islam oppress our women. It is after all Khadijah who ask our Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. for his hand in marriage.

The lady running this place is wonderful person and what she does, taking in the girls and educating them is such a noble task.

I am truly inspired. It is something I envisioned my parents would enjoy doing after they have retired. Meeting new people and opening their hearts and home. I want to be able to do the same and provide the means for people who need more than I do. In Syaa Allah.

Now to generate my vision and prayers of my beautiful future home to Allah. May he bless us with lots of rezki to make this happen. Ameen...

The boy who cried wolf

Have you heard of the folk tale 'the boy who cried wolf'. The little boy spouted nonsence tricking everyone with his impish lies.And when he did tell the truth, well no one wants to believe him anymore.

Are you that boy? Because you are dangerously close to being him.

For My Hero

15 Nov 1960 marks one the greatest day in history. It was a day a great man was born; my father.

I know every daughter has the world's greatest dad and mine is no exception. He is simply the most patient, loving, kind, gentle and caring man in the whole wide world. No one can be compared to him.

I have learnt so much from this great man. God knows just how much he did us a favour by sending us such a man.

This year he got a new title, Tokki and the way he treats my son is just the same as he treated us. No matter how tired or sleep deprived he is, he never let it a be a reason to shrink from his responsibilities. He never gets grumpy at us for disturbing his sleep. Sometimes when the little baby is sleeping with nenek and wakes up crying at 2.30am, he will try to calm the baby down even though he just got back from work at 2am. He will still get up every morning at 6 no matter what time he sleeps.

His way of life is truly unselfish. Biar kita yang susah. Jangan kita yang nak susahkan orang.

I love you Papa. You will always be my no 1 hero.

Happy Birthday

Love
Me

Playing a Rewarding Role

The lil baby will turn 7 months in a few days. Time certainly flies. I wish I could stall the moment as he is now. Just laughing and playing and needing me. I would say being a mother is the most rewarding and fulfilling role. Nothing take precedence.

Little by little I can see him exploring his new world, testing his boundaries and facing new challenges. From needing me all the time and being clingy to taking my hand and slowly taking his first few steps (or crawls) on his own.

Am I nuts to say that I can feel him not needing me so much? A foreshadowing of the future looms and I see myself just gazing from a far wondering if I have done enough to help him be safe and wise.

As a mother, I want just truly the best for lil baby's future. He has to be better than me in more ways than one. Sometimes I feel sad to see parents who only say that they want the best for their child but don't perform it. You can't produce children at their best if you just sit and watch them grow. They need lots of love and understanding. They will make mistakes, say things that they don't necessarily mean to hurt people and it is the job of us parents to educate.

Every little chance that I have has to go to spending quality time with my little one. It is tiring as I am still breastfeeding him and he still wake up nights. But his smile just completely melts my heart. It makes everything worth while.

I know there are some parents out there who do not know what to do with your little one. Don't worry, everyone can learn. There are books and many articles on the internet to educate yourself. Put down that game that you have on your tab and play with your child. Your child will remember and thank you in the future.

Don't be ignorant to your own child. Play that role and you will be rewarded in the future.

When you're just being honest

Have you heard the saying being brutally honest? It is usually used in a context where the truth might hurt the other person but you reveal it for their own good. Therefore you are being kind. But what about being too honest? Have you ever come across anyone such as this?

Someone who loves to 'be honest' will say anything without any filter, and disregard for other people's feelings just for the sake of being honest.

Situation 1
A: I'm planning to surprise XX with a smartphone.
C & D: What a wonderful surprise!
B: That's a horrible idea. XX won't make use of the gift. Even animals are able to use a smartphone better than X can.

1. B has taken away the excitement of planning a surprise.
2. B has insulted XX by saying that an animal is better.
3. B disrespects XX as a person
4. B has hurt A's feelings as XX must be someone dear for A to be planning a surprise.

In conclusion, B is not just being too honest, B is being mean and hurtful.

We live in a society and not on our own. So just remember if you have to urge to be too honest. Pipe it down. No one needs to know it. Instead of helping, you just might make the situation worse. Jangan buat orang menyampah sudah.

My level of tolerance is really starting to reach its peak.

What do you do with people like this??

Busy Busy Bee

Back at work today and super busy.

Reached home via flight from Singapore at 1 am. Super tired. Got really irritated when I reached home because the bedroom was in a mess. Things were all over the floor. Reason why??? Husband wanted to take something and it fell on the floor. Excuse me? It fell. You pick it up and put back into place. It is really inconsiderate considering the lil baby is crawling around putting things in his mouth. I mean the last mistake should have taught him any lesson. Also being helpful would be nice. Really hate it when I leave a place tidied and looks like a tornado.

Hectic friday morning as I have to catch up on workload and surprise, no car to go to work and back again (also very inconsiderate)

It's convo season, meaning busy time for the whole family. Even I have to chip in and help about with the family business. My poor son has been carted off to my sister's workplace. And she has to work. I couldn't bring him in the morning as I had invigilation. So everyone is tired and busy. 

Found out that the father of my son was at home, still sleeping and could have taken care of my son. Very very irresponsible and inconsiderate. I have no words and just too angry. 

It is really frustrating when you thought you have someone that you're suppose to rely on but you can't even trust to make unselfish decisions. Feel like screaming into a wall and also not say anything at all. It's one of those days where you just don't know how to respond to someone like this.

Down South in the Lion City

Hello everyone. We are now on a short holiday in Singapore visiting Ninda and Nyang. We arrived early this morning and just spend the day resting and lazing around at home. We did go to the newly renovated playground and played with the slides. Chloe brought us to the garden and we saw veges growing. Pretty cool thing to have being in a city and all where most kids just see their veges brought out from the supermarket. We'll be here for a couple more days. Tomorrow the bigger baby will come to take us home. Have a fun week ya'll!

4am wake up call

*clack clack*

I groaned, and checked the time on my hp.

It's 4 am and yes my baby is up. What is he doing at this godforsaken hour??? Oh, nothing but the usual. Just playing with his toys in the middle of a pitch dark bedroom with of course the other bigger baby snoring away; totally oblivious to his son sleeping next to him on the floor who was wide awake. (I sleep on the bed).

Why do mothers always have supersonic hearing?

Anyway, he still did not want to go to sleep. Eyes were big and round and so I decided to get back on bed and observe what will happen next.

The lil baby, after realising that his umi was gone, started crawling to the bigger baby and clawed at his face with his hands to wake him up.

Its time to play big play buddy. The bigger baby just took the lil one and hug him like a pillow and went back to sleep.

After much insistence did then the bigger baby woke up to play with his son.

Cute baby trumps sleeping at any time. You'd think the daddy would try to put the lil one back to sleep now that he is awake

Of course not. Only umi does sleepy time the best.

I foresee my future for the next 5 years or so.

Zombie Mode

Photoshoot at the Studio

Today was an eventful day. We had family photoshoot session with Perfect Pictures Photography. Such an awesome experience with Kak Farah and her husband Fadhil. Her husband is also a lecturer in UiTM and they have a studio in Seksyen 7. I have always wanted a photo session of the lil baby and I'm really glad that we did it with them. As you can see below are the pictures that was taken today with no editing whatsoever.

They have other baby and children costumes as well which they imported from California. Call them directly and I'm pretty sure they will give a you a great offer. Gotto go feed the lil baby now. Toodles!

I want to play the cup song too!

The lil baby loves songs and beats. I have session with him playing the kompang and gendang as well as the piano at home. When his Maksu played a beat with the cup, he couldn't resist to try it out himself! 

The Cup Song

My baby the musical genius *shining eyes*

The Case of the Vampire Baby

So the lil baby is 6 months old. After reading numerous books, articles and blogs, they are suppose to be able to sleep at least a minimum of 6 hours of sleep during the night. 

My baby however keeps waking up at every 1.5 and 2 hours to suckle and feed. And yes, I have started him on solids. What am I doing wrong??? I've tried everything. Forcing him to be awake in the evening so that he will sleep at night. Nope, woke up half an hour after that. Looking for his sleep cues and putting him to sleep right after. Still waking up. Establishing a routine, the crying out method and he still wakes up at night. Recently he has been waking up at night to play in the dark bedroom. He is however very considerate, as he will crawl off his mattress, onto the flour and play quietly trying not to wake us up at 2.30 a.m.

Unless of course he finally sees me and will crawl and claw at my back to wake up. 

Anyone know any remedies or solutions for my vampire baby????

Vampire Baby at 1 mnth and a half. Don't be fooled by his innocent charm

The latest blog

I will not lie to you. There has been many blogs prior to this latest creation and unfortunately I have not been able to keep up with it due to time and lack of discipline on my part. So why did I decide to have one now??? Firstly, to prove my husband, aka the bigger baby, that I could do it. Secondly, to keep a record of my lil baby's progress as I feel that my precious time with him is slipping by so fast. Thirdly, to share my thoughts, news, knowledge and well basically be a self-obsessed tiny mom. Lol. I welcome ya'll to a journey of my life.

My baby and my biggger baby. <3